We have the best selection of dirty one liner jokes on the internet.
What is the same about a blonde and a dog? They both suck dick.
Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls? A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her…
The best curve on a girl is her smile… Naw just kiddin, look at dat ass.
A good bar is like a good woman – liquor in the front and poker in the back.
Is your name country crock, cause you can spread for me anytime.
What did the elephant say to the naked man? “How do you breathe through that tiny thing?”
Why men’s voice is louder than women? Men have an antenna.
Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn’t close his casket.
What is the difference between a joke and 3 dicks? Your mom can’t take a joke.
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? Full.
What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common? You don’t look down.
What’s the difference between sand and menstrual blood? You can’t gargle sand.
Why did the belt get arrested? Because it held up a pair of pants!
What is better than a cold Bud? A warm bush.
Most guys walk up and stick it in… I stick it in then walk up…
Why did God create gay men? So fat girls could dance.
I flirted with disaster last night. Now disaster won’t stop texting me.
After 20 years of marriage, I still get blow jobs. If my wife finds out, she’ll fucking kill me.
I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.
Why do vegetarians give good head? Because they are used to eating nuts!
Please cooperate otherwise it gonna look like rape.
Why did the woman cross the road? Never mind that, what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?
Why did God give men penises? So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.
So I hear you like snakes…I have one its called a “trouser snake”
How does a black chick tell if she’s pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.
What do you call a dumb brunette? A dirty blonde.
Always wear high heels, it makes it easier to look down on him.
How do you know the handprint on the wet paint was left by a man? Because they can’t look and not…
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
I’m emotionally constipated. I haven’t given a shit in days.
How about I slip down your chimney, at half past midnight?
Why do gay men fake orgasms? Because they will be in deep shit if they don’t!
Do you wanna play lion tamer? she asks: “What is that?” you say: It’s when you get on all fours and…
I love my FedEx guy cause he’s a drug dealer and he doesn’t even know it — and he’s always on…
If a dove is the bird of peace, then is a swallow the bird of love?
If you jingle my bells ill promise you a white Christmas.
Today a fortune cookie told me that every exit is an entrance. Long story short, my girlfriend said no.
What is a gay person’s favorite desert on a hot day? Ass cream cones.
Wanna meet Santa’s little helper?
I don’t mean to be forward girl but do you swallow? Ok Cool. Swallow these 7 balloons of Heroin and get…
If you’re slutty enough, every day can be Halloween.
What’s one of the worst things about giving a man a blow job? The view.
Wanna play guns? Bend over and I’ll cock you.
What did one squirrel say to the other? Come around the tree and I’ll show you my nuts.
I was at a restaurant and I noticed my waitress had a black eye. So I ordered very sloooowly because obviously…
Baby, let’s configure our hard drives in master and slave position.
What do you call a porn star with a little dick? White!
Was your ass forged by Sauron because it is precious!
What is the world’s biggest oxymoron. Black People.
Why can’t blondes count to 70? Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.
Girl, if you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus
If you were a TSA agent, I would be happy to get a body scan.
Did you know that your body is made 70% of water? And now I’m thirsty.
What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man? $3.99 a minute.
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.
He’s so ugly he has to buy flowers for his own hand.
When we were together, you always said you’d die for me. Now that we’ve broke up, I think it’s time you…
Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.
I’ll show you where easter eggs come from — you may be surprised!
Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I’ll throw you my meat.
Haven’t seen R. Kelly’s sex tape? Well, urine for a surprise.
Why did the lady snowman divorce her husband? She found out he was going to a snow blower.
What do they do with blacks after they die? Gut them and use them as wetsuits.
Why do women have smaller feet than men? It’s one of those “evolutionary things” that allows them to stand closer to…
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.
What’s the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck.
I watched a really sad porn film the other day – it was a real tear-jerker.
What’s the best thing about 28 year old’s? There’s 20 of them.
You was sent away by the devil for unlidding raw gas out of your ass.
Why can’t you play Uno with a Mexican? They steal all the green cards.
You must work at subway…cause you’re givin’ me a foot long.
Want to take a look at my benefit package?
Friend: “I think my mom hit her period last night” Me: “Oh that’s my bad I fucked your mom a little…
I know its not Christmas, but Santa’s lap is always ready.
I have a fantasy, to sleep with 2 women… in the same year.
Hi, I’m a geologist – I was wondering if I could explore your natural resources…
How do you fix a woman’s watch? Why should you? There’s a clock on the oven.
Yo mama is so stupid, she put cat food down her pants to feed her pussy.
Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?
Why was the snowman so brave? Because he had big snow balls.
My dad used to always warn me about anal. He would say “Now son, this may hurt a bit”.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
You know, it’s not the length of the vector that counts… it’s how you apply the force.
It’s so cold that I have to take half a Viagra so I won’t pee on my shoes.
What’s the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde? You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball!
How can you make a gay man scream twice? Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains.
You know I would love to show you the toys my elves make for adults.
Why doesn’t Santa have any kids? He only comes once a year.
Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?
Einstein used science to get laid; that guy is a genius… I’ve been using money.
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
Life is a lot like a penis – soft, relaxed and hanging free… then a woman makes it hard.
Wanna get together and test the spring potential of my mattress?
Intimacy is selfish: into me see.
The more I practice boxing, the more unclear and obscure things are around me.
Why is a man’s pee yellow, and his sperm white? So he can tell if he’s coming or going.
Why did the female snowman delete Tinder? She was getting too many snow cone pics.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don’t generate much interest.
Instead of “Who’s your daddy” I accidentally said, “How’s your daddy” and we put our clothes back on and started discussing…
Why don’t women have men’s brains? Because they don’t have penises to put them in.
Sex operator: “Mmmm tell me what you’re wearing.” Eskimo: “Everything I own basically.”
Just because you have one doesn’t mean you have to act like one.
Doctor: “You need to stop masturbating.” Patient: “Why?” Doctor: “Because I would like to start the exam.”
She gave me an Australian kiss. It’s the same as a French kiss, but down under.
I was never great with girls but I have standards… I don’t date ugly girls… I make them fucking ugly…
What is a snowman’s favorite sex position? Sled doggy-style.
What do you call a snowman orgy? A snowball fight.
What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps…
My best toys run on batteries
Did you get those yoga pants on sale? Because at my house they’re 100% off,
I run faster horny than you do scared.
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said ‘Are you going to help?’ I said ‘No, six…
Are you from Pennsylvania cause I want to stick my pen in your sylvania
What is the hardest thing about being a man? His penis.
The girls in my local strip club are so good with computers they do lap top dancing.
If a man talks dirty to a woman, that’s sexual harassment. If a woman talks dirty to a man, that’ll be…
What is 6.9? A good thing ruined by a period.
Life is like toilet paper, you’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.
What is the difference betwen a blonde and a Lamborghini? You don’t let your friends borrow your Lamborghini.
I’m as bored as a slut on her period.
You need some more fuel for that fire? Cause I got some wood for you right here.
What do women and modern computers have in common? Neither one will accept a 3 and a half inch floppy.
Why did the snowman take his pants off? Because he saw the snowblower coming.
How do you make a pool table laugh? You reach into its pockets and tickle its balls.
The Titanic was built to last, let that sink in.
Sperm is white and pee is yellow so a man can tell if he’s coming or going.
I just created a new assembler for the ladies only. It is named “Org-asm”.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!
Virginity is not dignity, but lack of opportunity.
Girl, we can play zoo..and you can tame my monkey
When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper “You did this.”
What’s got four legs and one arm? A Rottweiler.
Are my undies showing? [“No.”] “Would you like them to?”
Top quark or bottom quark?
What’s better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ.
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? My pad or yours?
Do you sell hot dogs? Because you know how to make a wiener stand.
I was masturbating today and my hand fell asleep – that’s got to be the ultimate rejection.
What is the difference between a sperm and a lawyer? None, both have one in a million chance to be human…
Why do women prefer old gynecologists? Their shaky hands!
She just wanted to make her friend jealous and accidentally made a porno.
My brain boots up like a 10 year old PC that frequents gambling and adult websites.
I can’t believe that you were the sperm that won the race, and your still slow.
Sacred cows make the best hamburgers.
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
Spreading rumors? At least you’re spreading something else besides your legs.
I’m no weatherman but I know you’re going to get 3 inches tonight.
FRIDAY is my second favorite F word.
Hot single grannies in your area want you to look at how tall you’ve gotten.
The Invisible Man can fart and pretend that he is not to blame.
Why was Jesus a virgin when he died? Every time he touched a “wound” it closed.
I want to do to your body what Mitt Romney does to poor people.
If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in her way.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Yell at her.
Can I borrow your cellphone? I need to call animal control cause I just saw a fox!
It is better to have a hole in your hand than a hand in your hole.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts? Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word ‘Facial’ is used.
Rape is a terrible crime… I’ll never understand how a man can traumatize a woman like that. That’s why I always…
If you force sex on a prostitute is it rape or shoplifting?
Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone.
When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Do you know what a Timberwolf is? No. Thats a guy that chases a girl up a tree and kisses her…
Life’s a jungle let’s go to your place and fuck like animals!
Would masturbating while smoking weed be considered masturblazing, weedwhacking, or highjacking?
Girl, if you were a camel, I’d hump you!
Why do women have vaginas? So men will talk to them.
But do you know what 6.9 is? A good thing screwed up by a period.
Is that shirt (those pants) mad of camel skin? (No, why?) Cause I noticed the humps!
You have the perfect face for radio.
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong …
My cat’s dead, can I play with your pussy instead?
Blind man walks into a bar… And a table, and a chair.
What do you call a Mexican with a vasectomy? A dry Martinez.
What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? A wet nose.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Masturbating is wrong in some people’s eyes… Also, it burns.
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. I refused. If I’m going to…
If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are… you have small boobs.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
I love every bone in your body, especially mine.
My wife complained that the vacuum sucks too hard on the rugs and I made a joke… anyway, I’m sleeping on…
What’s the difference between a hooker and a woman with a cold? A woman with a cold blows her nose…
Why is Justing Bieber like a shotgun? Give him a cock and he will blow!
What did one boob say to the other boob? You are my breast friend!
A penis is like a Rubik’s Cube – the more you play with it, the harder it gets.
I love dangerous sex, in fact, I masturbate with no hand.
How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner.
Masturbation always leads to sex. It’s a gateway tug.
When a woman breast feeds in public it’s called natural, but when I do it, the woman calls the cops.
I slapped Dwayne Johnson’s ass. I guess I’ve hit Rock Bottom.
All panties aside, it’s Friday.
I once dated a girl with a twin. People asked me how I could tell them apart. It was simple, Jill…
Why don’t rednecks do reverse cowgirl? They never turn their back on family.
What did the black girl say while having sex? Dad get off me your crushing my ciggies.
My dad sent me to a psychiatrist for wearing his bra again.
Do you wanna see a magic trick? Watch me pull something out of my pants!
Do you know what the square root of 69 is? Ate something. (8.xxxxxxx….)
Party host: Anyone here allergic to nuts? Because I like to rest mine on the table.
What did one gay sperm say to another? “How do we find an egg in all of this shit?”
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from local zoo.
If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction…
Hey baby…I can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch?
If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents.
Hey Cutie ever do it in a sleigh?
How does a man show he’s planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
A woman just asked me if I like thighs or breasts. Told her I like shaved vagina and anal. Apparently, this…
PMS jokes aren’t funny. Period.
You’re so stupid you could count your balls all day long and never come up with the same number twice.
What’s 6 foot long, vibrates and turns a small penis into a giant prick? A motorcycle.
Did you hear about the gay guy who got kicked off the golf course? He was playing with too many strokes.
Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering a minor.
Might I integrate your curves tonight?
My wife had her period at a Manchester United game, and all I got was this bloody t-shirt.
How do you know if a police officer is gay? The smell of his mustache.
There’s a easter parade in my pants…wanna go?
If we were stranded in a desert and a snake bit my penis, would you suck the poison out?
What’s the difference between a Harley and a vacuum cleaner? The position of the dirtbag.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, “Please send me a sister.” Santa Clause wrote him back, “Ok, send…
Screw the nice list, I’ve got you on my “nice and naughty list!
Did you hear about the 2 gay men that got into a fight in a bar? They were ejected for exchanging…
What is the difference between “ooooooh”and “aaaaaaah”? About three inches.
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
What’s the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Your job still sucks!
Ever done it on a pile of artificial grass?
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
What do gay men call hemorrhoids? Speed Bumps.
Why do women pierce their bellybutton? Place to hang their air freshener.
Why does the bride always wear white? Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.
I live in a hutch filled with vibrating cedar chips
What do you do when you find out Viagra isn’t working for you? You go Cialis!
Got an e-mail today from a “bored housewife 33, looking for some action!” I’ve sent her my ironing, that’ll keep her…
I’ve been taking Viagra for my sunburn. It doesn’t cure it but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night.
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
Wanna expand my polynomial?
At least cunts are useful you’re not.
Excuse me, but do you like whales? (yeah, why) Cause I was thinking that we could “humpback” at my place.
Why are women like KFC? After you’ve finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box…
Where do you find a no-legged dog? Right where you left him.
Judging by the size of these chicken fingers, the chicken was somewhere between 8′ to 11′ tall.
Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
What did the letter O said to letter Q? Put some pants on.
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A: a rip off
If your left leg was thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I come visit you between the holidays?
A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, “Anything you say can and will be held…
I bought a box of condoms earlier today. The cashier asked if I’d like a bag. I said “nah, I’ll just…
Hey gurl, how about you make the Patriots and deflate these balls.
I may not have a dick but you’re a massive one!
Masturbating makes your dick smaller. Don’t believe me? Asians have really fast internet. Africa doesn’t.
My gay friend got fired from the sperm bank because they caught him drinking on the job.
What’s long, black and smelly? The unemployment line.
Looking at you is getting my dick harder than Chuck Norris
What’s the definition of black foreplay? Don’t scream or I’ll kill you.
How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Are you a Nice girl or Good girl?: NICE girls blush when they watch porn, GOOD girls smile cause they know…
Yo momma’s like a door handle… everybody gets a turn
What’s worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? Finding out it was traced.
Hey baby, I heard that rabbits, can make 150 babies a year, how many do you think we can make in…
What’s a mixed feeling? When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
What do tofu and dildos have in common? They’re both meat substitutes.
Why do white men stay with their women? They’ll have a hard time trying to find another that likes little dicks.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute? Well, you got to hand it to her.
What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs? Nice tits!
Miss Anders… I didn’t recognise you with your clothes on.
Why do men snore when they lay on their backs? Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor.
What’s the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it.
A man is walking through a graveyard when he sees another man squatting next to a grave. “Morning!” he calls out….
Why can’t men get mad cow disease? Because they’re all pigs.
You’re the cumshot that your mom wanted to swallow but your dad couldn’t pull out in time.
How do you tell if a chick’s too fat to f*ck? When you pull her pants down and her ass is…
The only thing harder than midterms was my penis when I found out Bruce Jenner was switching genders.
What’s the definition of a male chauvinist pig? A man who hates every bone in a woman’s body, except his own.
Why can’t single women fart? They don’t get an asshole till they get married.
What do women addicted to heroin got in common with ice-hockey players? They both change clothes after three periods.
Why did God give blondes pussys? So guys will talk to them at parties.
You know you’re getting old when you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
The only reason the term ‘Ladies first’ was invented was for the guy to check out the woman’s ass.
Am I getting under your skin? The only skin you’ll be getting under is my ball sack.
How does one know a man is going to say something smart?..His senentences start with “A woman once told me..”
My boss touched me inappropriately at work today. It’s okay though, I’m self-employed.
Boy: Have u ever been fishing before Girl: Why? Boy: I think we should hook up!
It must be something in the air that is causing a lot of women to get pregnant… Their legs.
What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down? Married.
Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say “don’t” and if he touches your pussy say “stop”? Girl: But mom, he…
Those days I only knew six words if you count muther fucker as two.
Word of the day is Legs. Now go spread the word.
What’s the name of the latest gay sitcom? “Leave it, it’s Beaver.”
Drinking too much coffee can cause a latte problems.
What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window.
Ever have sex while camping? Take my word when I say it’s fucking intents.
How are women and linoleum floors alike? You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them…
Hi, I’m bisexual. I’d like to BUY you a drink…and then get sexual.
How can you tell a Sumo wrestler from a feminist? A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
My computer’s got Miley Virus. It has stopped twerking.
How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an alter boy.
Two ADV riders camping out in a tent. One of them crawls out to pee before bed. Comes back all wet….
Don’t let an extra chromosome get you down.
I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay. She said she didn’t have time.
My girlfriend came out of the shower and said “I shaved my pussy, you know what that means? I said “yeah,…
Roses are red, so are your lips. Sit on my face and wiggle those hips.
How are husbands like lawn mowers? They’re hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don’t…
Did you hear about the gay security guard who got fired from his job at the sperm bank? He got caught…
You know your girlfriend’s frigid if the lights go on when you open her legs.
Have you ever tried camping sex? No, well its fucking in tents!
Condoms? Hah! Those are for pussies!
I’d like to think inside your box.
The only way you’ll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken’s ass and wait.
A dick has a sad life. His hair’s a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor’s an asshole, his best friend’s…
My friend’s girlfriend is 6 months pregnant, they asked if I wanna put my hand on the baby. Apparently, they meant…
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds.
Are you from Japan? Cause I’m currently trying to get in japanties.
If God hadn’t meant the pussy to be eaten, he wouldn’t have made it look like a taco.
Friends are like boobs. Some big,some small. Some real, some fake.
What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
A slut is someone who’ll have sex with anyone, a bitch is someone who’ll have sex with anyone except you.
If you were a pole I would dance all over you.
Why did the downhill skier take off all his clothes? Because he wanted to get windblown.
What did the card dealer say to the table of 16 year old girls? Blackjack is just like my sex life,…
You still use Internet Explorer? You must like it nice and slow.
Shut up, you’ll never be the man your mother is.
Why’d the semen cross the road? I wore the wrong pair of socks.
What are two reasons why men don’t mind their own business? 1. No mind. 2. No business.
Anal sex does not make one’s day it makes one’s hole weak
The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if I’d like to masturbate in the cup. I said, “Well, I’m pretty…
Three words to ruin a man’s ego…? “Is it in?”
Sometimes I hide my girlfriend’s inhaler so the neighbors think I’m a stud when they hear her panting, “Give it to…
How do you embarrass an archeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
I’m the flower, you’re the bee. Why don’t you suck the sweet pollen right out of me?
Let’s both be naughty this year and save Santa the trip.
Hey, I’m not saying Hitler was a great guy, but he really saved the Histoy channel.
I bet even your farts smell good.
Life is like oral sex, one slip of the tongue and you’re in the shit.
What do you and your shower have in common? You both get wet when I turn you on.
Why did God give Black guy’s big dicks? He felt sorry for putting pubes on their heads.
What does a cow say to bull? Are you always that horn-ny!
Fuck me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Cindrella?
Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He’s all right now.
Who can make more money in a week, a drug dealer or a prostitute? The prostitute because she can wash and…
Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?
What do u find in an empty nose? Finger prints.
The national debt isn’t the only thing that’s rising.
I’m being managed by Don King again
Interested in seeing the “North Pole”? (Well, that’s what the Mrs. calls it)
Why do Gay men pay such high car insurance? Because they are always getting creamed from behind!
How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
Remember all those memories from being a kid, like the time you got in the van and realized the man didn’t…
Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
My love for you is like a fart. Everything about it is powered by my heart.
Why do witches not wear underwear? So they get a better grip.
Lets unzip our genes and see if we can share codes together.
The problem with sex in the movies is, that the popcorn usually spills.
You’re the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
If God made anything better than pussy he kept it for himself.
My foot isn’t the only part of me that’s lucky
Why did the snowman smile? Because the snowblower is coming.
What’s the worst part about going to a gay picnic? All the hotdogs taste like shut.
I’ll get you wetter than a Scottish summer.
If you go to sleep with a itching ass you will wake up with a stinking finger…
My penis was in the Guinness book of world records. Then the librarian told me to take it out.
What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease? One is a cunning runt, and the other is…
Some people prefer their women young and tender; I prefer mine ten and younger.
How much semen does a gay guy have? A butt load.
Do you play volleyball? Because you look like your good on ur knees!
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she’s a slut, but if a man does it… He’s gay, definitely gay.
How do you get four queers on a bar stool? Turn it upside down.
There are hundred holes in in my wife’s body; one of them is filled by my dick and the 99 others…
In my bed, it’s perpetual motion all night long, baby.
You know you’ve got a high sperm count when she has to chew before she swallows.
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers? One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year.
What do you say we make this a Not-so-Silent Night?
What have a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery driver got in common? They can both smell it but can’t eat it.
I don’t think it’s possible for me to become a sniper. Not by a long shot.
Men? On the whole, I’d rather buy new batteries.
You grow on people….so does cancer.
Isn’t it scary that doctors call what they do “practice”?
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