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    Jokes

    work

March 9, 2018

If we put aside our differences and work together, I truly believe we can come up with a few more alternate spellings of the name Britney.

If we put aside our differences and work together, I truly believe we can come up with a few more alternate spellings of the name Britney.

March 9, 2018

Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.

Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.

March 9, 2018

If every day is a gift, I’d like a receipt for Monday. I want to exchange it for another Friday.

If every day is a gift, I’d like a receipt for Monday. I want to exchange it for another Friday.

March 9, 2018

How long have I been working for this company? Ever since they threatened to fire me.

How long have I been working for this company? Ever since they threatened to fire me.

March 9, 2018

The next time you have company, serve them a bowl of shelled peanuts. After they’ve eaten a few handfuls, casually mention that you’ve never liked peanuts, but you love to suck the chocolate off of them.

The next time you have company, serve them a bowl of shelled peanuts. After they’ve eaten a few handfuls, casually mention that you’ve never liked peanuts, but you love to suck the chocolate off of them.

March 9, 2018

Kids, stay in school and get a good degree so you can spend 40% of your life on conference calls.

Kids, stay in school and get a good degree so you can spend 40% of your life on conference calls.

March 9, 2018

I start every conversation with my employees by saying, “I shouldn’t be telling you this” just so I know they will listen.

I start every conversation with my employees by saying, “I shouldn’t be telling you this” just so I know they will listen.

March 9, 2018

If homework goes too easy you are doing it wrong.

If homework goes too easy you are doing it wrong.

March 9, 2018

I work to buy a car to go to work.

I work to buy a car to go to work.

March 9, 2018

I always put in a full eight hours at work. Spread out over the course of the week.

I always put in a full eight hours at work. Spread out over the course of the week.